cough cough cough

[pneumonic]

[ you were probably doing something fun and exciting, but that doesn't matter, because now you're in some weird forest

like, wow, no matter what direction you go in, you always end up in the same clearing? and there's fog and weird sparkles everywhere. and giggling. like there's a million tiny annoying children darting through the canopy (that's because there is).

you're pretty sure they're laughing at you, even. there are definitely some very you-specific insults. eventually though, some lady with WOLFPARTS and HELLA SHARP NAILS and SLIT PUPILS and SCALED CHEEKS steps out of the fog, tilting her head at you. ]

Now, now, what do we have here?

Comments

[ruffandbumble]

[Well I sure as hell can't escape so there's only one thing for this shitty furry armed wolf with his shitty clothing to do roll around on the ground and try to find somewhere to lay. I mean until someone talks to him.

And he just tilts his head like BAROO?]

Hi.

[pneumonic]

A bit far from home, northerner?

[ruffandbumble]

[Tilts head..

looks around.]

...Dunno!

[pneumonic]

...You don't know.

[ruffandbumble]

Nope!

[ROLLING AROUND.

Literally he's saying this like tilting his head back to look at you and wallowing on his back.]

[pneumonic]

[ you are a disgrace to our kind

but also that's kind of cute ]

Where are you from?

[ruffandbumble]

[He stops rolling.

And stares. You can almost see the gears (slowly) grinding betwixt his furry ears.]

City!

[pneumonic]

Which city?

[ruffandbumble]

...You know, the one with the metal cans filled with stuff.

[That's all he's got.]

[pneumonic]

...I think that may be most cities. Were...were you a pet?

[ isn't that an incredibly racist thing people do ]

[ruffandbumble]

Nope!

That'd be nice, though!

[This dumb trash.]

[pneumonic]

...Are you serious. You want to be a pet.

[ruffandbumble]

Pets get food before it goes into the cans, and get to sleep inside.

[pneumonic]

[ this is a precious thing that must be protected ]

You ate out of the garbage.

[ruffandbumble]

All the time.

[LICK SLURP MMM FAT TRIMMINGS]

[pneumonic]

Congratulations, you're my pet now.

[ruffandbumble]

..Pet me.

[pneumonic]

[ unfair

walking over, and...petting his dumb floofy hair. god you're hot. god is it wrong to think you're hot when you're so fucking stupid

I think my brother is hot so I don't think I can sink any lower ]

[ruffandbumble]

[YESSS I AM A GOOD BOY

This isn't even 'haha ye pets' HE IS AGGRESSIVELY MOVING HIS HEAD UP TO THAT HAND PET MY FLUFF SCRITCH MY EARS I WILL RUB MY HEAD ON YOUR HAND IF YOU'RE NOT MOVING FAST ENOUGH AFFECTION.]

[pneumonic]

[ c-cute ]

Maybe I can teach you to have a bit more respect for yourself...

[ruffandbumble]

resspeck?

[I DON'T KNOW THAT WORD.]

[pneumonic]

You know, caring about yourself, going for what you want, not being a pet...

[ruffandbumble]

Being a pet gets me the first two!

[He wants warms and food, okay.]

[pneumonic]

You can get them without being a pet.

[ruffandbumble]

Not as good.

Pets get all sorts of nice things.

[pneumonic]

You can get nicer things.

[ruffandbumble]

Like what?

[pneumonic]

Better food.

[ruffandbumble]

Do you mean...the parts of food that DON'T get thrown away or come in a can?

[pneumonic]

Yes, those.

[ruffandbumble]

[He seems unsure.

LIKE THIS IS TOO MUCH FOR A DOG TO HOPE FOR?]

[pneumonic]

Trust me, okay?

[ absolutely still petting him though

owning another person sounds awful and terrible but petting is fun ]

[ruffandbumble]

Mmrrrrrrrrrrr fine.

[Except he's totally gonna hop into a leash and collar if someone offers him a steak or something.

He does not love himself.

Or not as much as steak.]

[pneumonic]

[ c-cute noises ]

So what's your name?

[ruffandbumble]

Jack.

I think.

[pneumonic]

Eirlys. It's nice to meet you, Jack.